No divorce is easy, especially for children who do not understand why dad and mom suddenly no longer want to live together. Your child needs to feel, see, and hear that you are both there for him/her regardless of the situation. Maintaining a co-parenting relationship can be stressful, especially if one or both parents are unreasonable.
Certain things should be set aside for the benefit of your child or children, and we are here to give you the best advice on maintaining that
You Are Not Spouses Anymore, But You Are Still Parents
Inadequate and destructive communication is the most common cause of divorce. However, the misconception is that such communication stops after divorce if you have children. Bad communication with each other will probably continue after the divorce, and it will affect all of you badly. As it is clever to ask for the help of a lawyer when your marriage is coming to an end, it is equally clever to go to a marriage counselor even after a divorce. A lawyer will help you with all the legal facts you need to know and what to do during this time, and a marriage counselor can help you find the best way to co-parent after getting separated. Stay away from emotions and set aside ego, injuries, and personal conflicts.
How to Inform a Child About Divorce
Divorce is a very stressful process for the whole family. You have made a decision that you will not change, but you have not yet communicated it to the children, and you have no idea what the best way to do it is. You have to be aware that no matter how pleasant the news is, it must be discussed at some point. To make it easier for children to accept the new situation, you should communicate it to them in a way that is understandable and acceptable to them.
If possible, you should agree on how and what to tell them. You need to tell them as much of the truth as possible about why your marriage is ending. This will help them better understand what is happening and what will happen.
This is a stressful period for everyone. Remember that the way you cope with the situation will have a lasting effect on children, and you should take care of your choice of words and actions.
Habits Provide Security
Where there is a crisis, there are mistakes. One of the most common is that partners try immensely to animate and entertain the child to fight for the child’s love on the one hand, but also to “redeem” themselves in some way because we are guided by a sense of remorse. It is considerably more necessary and beneficial to make the child’s life as close to the life before the divorce as possible, at least in terms of habits, rather than worrying about whether the child would be better with mom or dad, how many new toys he or she will have, and what you will please him or her with.
The child should continue to eat and sleep at the same time, eat the same type of food, and it is desirable not to change the environment in which the child lives. Every change is stressful for a child, so it is not good for them to experience a large number of changes at the same time, even in a crisis.
Don’t Use Your Child For Arguing
You say, directly or indirectly, consciously or unconsciously, “Dad doesn’t love you”; what the child hears is “I’m not worth it and that’s why dad doesn’t love me.”
The trap that divorced parents often fall into is portraying the other side in a “bad light”. It is important to talk to yourself first and draw a clear line between your relationship with your partner and your partner’s relationship with the children. Your partner may be, for you, a bad husband, but for a child, the best dad in the world. A child should not get involved in a partnership, and the child-parent relationship is something that a child just needs to experience without your interpretation.
When you turn a child against the other parent, you are harming yourself and the child. Whatever your youngster says or does, one day he or she will get a picture of a parent concerning how that parent treats him or her.
Finally, keep in mind that a weekend parent is not a parent; alimony is not parenting, and your child is not an asset to share. A bird needs both wings to fly.