Attachment: What This Means and How it Works

Presented by BetterHelp.

The term attachment refers to the way you bonded to your first caregiver. If your needs were met properly, this likely means you experienced a different type of attachment than a baby who was neglected. Keep reading for information on attachment. 


When you were a baby, you probably spent much of your time with your mom, dad, or another person who was in charge of taking care of you. If you were able to bond with this person and feel safe and protected, this has a great impact on your life. 

On the other hand, if they were not there when you needed them, this may have led to you feeling like you couldn’t count on them, which can also have a large effect on your life. 

To learn more about attachment, click here: This site provides details on the different types of attachment. 

How it Affects Your Life

Depending on the type of attachment you had with your caregiver as a baby, this can affect your life and many of your relationships, even as an adult. If you were cared for and felt safe, you may feel more secure in relationships. 

On the other hand, if your needs weren’t met in a timely manner, this may lead to you feeling insecure in relationships and when it comes to dating. 

Types of Attachment

There are 4 types of attachment that you may want to learn more about. 

Secure Attachment

When a parent responds to the baby appropriately most of the time, this can lead to secure attachment. In other words, a baby will understand that you are there when they need you. Overall, this can lead a child and later an adult to be able to trust others and be able to make friends and experience healthy relationships.

Anxious Insecure Attachment

If you experienced this type of attachment as a baby, your caregiver likely only tended to your needs sometimes. This could lead to a baby not trusting their parent and trying very hard to get their attention. 

They could also become needy when it comes to relationships as an adult, where they don’t feel like they are getting enough attention or are secure enough. 

Avoidant Insecure Attachment

As a baby, if a caregiver didn’t try to help a child and possibly ignored them at times, this could lead to this type of attachment. A child that experiences this method of care will probably start to figure out their problems for themselves and not rely on their parents. 

This can lead to the same behavior in adulthood, where they have trouble dating and trusting others. 

Disorganized Insecure Attachment

When a parent makes their child feel uncomfortable and doesn’t address their needs, this type of attachment is possible. This can happen if the parent is experiencing trauma, has substance abuse problems, or is experiencing a mental health condition. 

If a child is treated this way, they may resent their parent and try their best to take care of themselves. As an adult, they might have little control over their behavior, which can be problematic in many ways. 

Seeking Therapy

If you are concerned about your attachment style to your caregivers and think that you may need counseling to help you repair relationships, you should reach out to a therapist when you are ready to do so. They might be able to aid you and advise further on dating, moving past trauma, and much more, depending on your circumstances. 

On the other hand, if you are a parent and would like to know additional facts about how to take care of your child, you may find benefit from working with a therapist as well. They should be able to provide answers to your questions about attachment and how to ensure that you provide security for your baby. 


The way you attach to your parent as a baby can influence you in a number of ways, even as an adult. If you are concerned about some of your personality traits and behaviors, you may want to talk to a therapist to determine if your attachment style from birth could be affecting you. If it is, there are ways you can lessen the effects. This process may take time, however.